WAYNE I understand Mickey Knox is reading the Bible these days?
part 2of2. newest, oldest obsession. this must be life?
In 1916 he started what would be a long professional and personal relationship with theatre critic, dramatist and translator Max Brod. In the same year Jenůfa, revised by Kovařovic, was finally accepted by the National Theatre; its performance in Prague (1916) was a great success, and brought Janáček his first acclaim. He was 62. Following the Prague première, he began a relationship with singer Gabriela Horváthová, which led to his wife Zdenka’s attempted suicide and their “informal” divorce. A year later (1917) he met Kamila Stösslová, a young married woman 38 years his junior, who was to inspire him for the remaining years of his life.
as i often do, i’ve become obsessed with two things, both from my past, one near, one far, simultaneously. this is one. the least distant. i can’t stop listening. even though i now know the truth, at least biographically, he was just another dick, no better than gauguin. only worse, i guess, because his left behind tried, and failed, to call the whole thing off. but i’m more swayed by auditory than visual. so no sooner had i blamed him than his composition swept it all out and this was all that remained.
so, there’s this thing called facebook. for those of you who’ve never heard of it, it’s like a virtual middle school cafeteria. you watch. you listen. you know a lot of these people but you don’t know a whole lot more. the ones you don’t know are often the most interesting. the winnovers. the ones you do know? the must i still fit inners. so you observe. you take it in. then you contribute. loudly and randomly. over and over and over again. until you say things you had been holding in. until you let out what you need to. until you wonder why no one is listening. until you let out too much. over and over again. until your mind is repeating. you wish you could just stop eating lunch here. yo wish you could just stop eating lunch. you hate this room. everyone knows one another. except for the ones who don’t. you’re not hungry anymore.
tumbler is the place of avatars
and no relatives
no sharing on the fire hydrant
it’s as if you didn’t know them
where does your mind go
when you give up control
i don’t think we have to choose
we’re all talking to ourselves
and we’re all listening to ourselves
it doesn’t matter
it’s gonna fall
she’s given in
she’s given in
now they’re talking with words
she doesn’t know
she’d rather leave
she doesn’t show
that thing i thought
i’m as ugly as sin
until i let you in